Still Going Strong (even with an interruption)

The past week was a vacation time for hubby Matt and me. From Monday, February 19 to Friday, February 23, we were at Marina Dunes Resort where we had a delightful ocean front suite. With the exception of dinners out and a brief walk on the beach, most of our time was spent on our butts doing parallel reading. I finished Ivan Doig's "Mountain Time", a contemporary sequel to his McCaskill family trilogy. I also got about half way through a book that I've since finished at home: Monica Ali's "Brick Lane," a novel about a Bangladeshi woman's life in London after her arranged marriage to a man more than twice her age. In addition to the reading, I also did a considerable amount of nodding off. This was a highly lazy vacation. With regard to my food choices, I'd give myself a B-.

For the second third of our vacation I'd have to give myself a D, maybe even a D-. This was the part of our vacation that was spent in Los Angeles. I remained in control until Saturday when I was required to deal with challenging people in difficult, and often chaotic, situations. I glued myself together with butter saturated bread, pizza, and candy. I continued my wayward ways during Sunday's eight hour drive home, then threw in Monday for good (or bad) measure.

As of yesterday, I am back on track. The interesting thing (for me) is that I feel as back on track now as I did after accruing a dozen on track days in a row before our vacation began. It is as if I managed to knit a sweater in those dozen days which I once again comfortably wear. Being back in control seems right to me.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'll be weighing myself on the 27th of each month. My grand total from the 7th to the 27th of February is . . . ta da. . . can you bear the suspense??. . .
one glorious pound (without self recrimination). I'm headed in the right direction. The coming month will be a gloriously routine one. The downward slope will be significantly steeper.
The hardest part is over.

Ten Days

I have been on track for ten days now. This puts me at the halfway point of my three week target aimed at building a muscular habit of self discipline. As the days accumulate, the chances of me giving in to food's various seductions decrease. One of my decisions has been to weigh only on the 27th of each month. This will help me to keep the focus on my own behavior rather than the melodramatics of the scale. Tigerlilly, one of my blogger friends, has been doing this with good results. My newly rediscovered self discipline has been strengthened substantially by my seeing unflattering photos of myself. I've have also cut back on my after dinner snacking and have allowed myself to stop eating after I'm full. This has required me to be conscious of achieving the state of fullness in the first place and then to get off autopilot. Sticking a piece of gum in my mouth has become the ritual that says "enough" to further eating.

I'm feeling fairly confident that I'll be able to stay on track when I'm away from home. (I have to remember to keep water handy, a suggestion from Tigerlilly and others; also something that I haven't been doing). As for my motivation to get rid of the weight, sure there's the health benefits, but vanity is the biggie for me . And, with along with vanity, self respect. I dislike the weak and self indulgent part of me that mindlessly eats beyond satisfaction. I dislike that within me that stupidly gives in to urges that almost inevitably trigger binges. I'm better than that.
We all are.

Determined to Stay on Track No Matter What!!!

Today will end my first on track week in a very long time. My second week will begin tomorrow with the Valentine day's challenge of going out to dinner at a Thai restaurant with another couple. My intention is to order something delicious and reasonably low calorie. I'll count it as an 8 point meal without regard to the real calorie count. The rest of this month will have its own challenges, including a week away from home (again). I will not allow myself to stray this time. Since I'll be driving, I'll be able to well stock my survival kit with such things as low calorie salad dressing, apples, Jerquee, Trader Joe's High Fiber Cereal, and the blueberry, etc. muffins that I also get from TJ's.

The photo that I've included is a reminder to me of how fat I've become. It was taken at a friend's house during our Carnival week-end. It does not camouflage my bulk as well as other photos that I've included in this blog. It is shocking to me. I've long believed the camouflage.

I am going to stay on track no matter what.

Carnival Brasileiro, Austin, Feb. 2007

A mega mighty auspicious date on which to begin again.

I've managed to do serious damage to my weight loss efforts since my last post. Austin did not require that I be as self destructive in my eating as I managed to be. No looking back on this. Today's weight was just a half pound less than when I began the 65+ lb. loss, the regain of which I've been fooling around with for these last several years. Enough of my on-again off-again commitment. It's time for me to gain some self respect with this.