Mindful Eating

I've been doing fairly well these last few days. Last night, my hubby and I went out for dinner (the first time since mid-May). I ordered lentil soup and a salmon wrap. I kinda-sorta decided that it would be okay for me to have a piece of the cake that was on display in a glass case. I couldn't decide between two different chocolate cakes and a coconut cake. After a while, I realized that looking at them was sufficient. "I can have two cups of mint ice cream when we get home for half the calories of a slice of cake," I told Matt. Once home, I opted for a Skinny Cow mint ice cream cone, followed later by a strawberry popsicle (approximately 250 calories for both). I also allowed myself a square of semi-sweet chocolate. I've found that I can keep these chocolate squares in the freezer and allow myself one without triggering a binge. I buy a larger bar, split it in squares (about 50 calories each) and wrap each square in tin foil. One square satisfies me.


In these past few days, I've kept the focus on what I'm doing more than (but not instead of) on the food that I'm eating. Matt and I sit on the family room couch watching TV when we have our dinner. (My mother would have been highly critical of us for this). After I've finished my dinner and a reasonable dessert, I've gotten up mid-program to avoid mindless eating. Once I get busy, visions of cold cereal and the like leave my mind. I've also been paying more attention to that full feeling that tells the slim folks when it's time to stop eating.

If I can keep this up, the weight will take care of itself. The biggest challenge is keeping up my energy so that I am emotionally capable of making the right decisions. When I'm fully energized, I'm able to remember that stuffing my face does nothing to help me face life's challenges. In fact, it probably diminishes my ability to do so. My physician has prescribed
a higher dose of the thyroids meds I take. This will help. The other thing that would help is if I get it through my head that napping is a more appropriate remedy for fatigue than gluttony.

I used the term "mindless eating" in the second paragraph. It's opposite is mindful eating.
That's what I'm forcing myself to finally learn.

Shooting Deer (or not)

see my other blog: Stars on the Ceiling

Pete Wilson 1945-2007 ------------------ and ------ A Comment About Comments

I've written these two additional posts on my other blog: Stars on the Ceiling.

The Good News (in the bad)

I was a pound and a half more this Saturday than last. This reflects some stupid eating and physical laziness. The good news is that my stupid eating didn't become hideously insane.
I continue to feel that my current approach, to focus on health without counting points, is the best one for now.

The Pesticide Guide

In a comment to one of my on-line friend's posts, I mentioned a list in which produce was ranked as to the levels of pesticides they contained. This is link to the web-site from which I obtained the following guide. I prefer to buy organic, but the higher price of organic produce sometimes has me reaching for conventionally grown fruits and veggies. This guide helps me make better informed decisions.

How This Guide Was Developed

The produce ranking was developed by analysts at the not-for-profit Environmental Working Group (EWG) based on the results of nearly 43,000 tests for pesticides on produce collected by the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration between 2000 and 2004. A detailed description of the criteria used in developing the rankings is available as well as a full list of fresh fruits and vegetables that have been tested (see below).

EWG is a not-for-profit environmental research organization dedicated to improving public health and protecting the environment by reducing pollution in air, water and food. For more information please visit www.ewg.org.

The Full List: 43 Fruits & Veggies

RANK	FRUIT OR VEGGIE	SCORE
1 (worst)	Peaches	100 (highest pesticide load)
2	Apples	96
3	Sweet Bell Peppers	86
4	Celery	85
5	Nectarines	84
6	Strawberries	83
7	Cherries	75
8	Lettuce	69
9	Grapes - Imported	68
10	Pears	65
11	Spinach	60
12	Potatoes	58
13	Carrots	57
14	Green Beans	55
15	Hot Peppers	53
16	Cucumbers	52
17	Raspberries	47
18	Plums	46
19	Oranges	46
20	Grapes-Domestic	46
21	Cauliflower	39
22	Tangerine	38
23	Mushrooms	37
24	Cantaloupe	34
25	Lemon	31
26	Honeydew Melon	31
27	Grapefruit	31
28	Winter Squash	31
29	Tomatoes	30
30	Sweet Potatoes	30
31	Watermelon	25
32	Blueberries	24
33	Papaya	21
34	Eggplant	19
35	Broccoli	18
36	Cabbage	17
37	Bananas	16
38	Kiwi	14
39	Asparagus	11
40	Sweet Peas-Frozen	11
41	Mango	9
42	Pineapples	7
43	Sweet Corn-Frozen	2
44	Avocado	1
45 (best)	Onions	1 (lowest pesticide load)

Note: We ranked a total of 43 different fruits and vegetables but grapes are listed twice because we looked at both domestic and imported samples.

I'm Too Fat To Be A Deer

'cause deer have to be swift so they can run away from predators.

An acquaintance (friend??) of mine and I did a trial run of the booth for Wildlife Fawn Rescue that we will be hosting at the Downtown Market on Wednesday. She took this picture of me and I took a similar one of her. The antlers are part of a deer skull that I found on my property a few days earlier. I don't know how long the skull had been there. Although I've lived in my house for eight years, I'd never walked within the approximately 1/4 acre that fronts it. My house borders a state park; we've preserved the natural wildness of the land. I've never felt the desire to wander around in front. Recently I asked our gardener to do heavy duty pruning. After he and his crew had done a substantial amount of clearing, I went exploring and found the skull and some other bones. One of my first thoughts was that these might be wonderful for a junior or senior high school science project for my not-yet-born grand-daughter. It was my acquaintance/friend's idea to pose with the antlers.

A few words about my wavering sanity with regard to food: First of all, let's forget about Sunday except to note that I engaged in some very stupid eating . Fatigue was the excuse.; waiting to take my morning shower until after breakfast, the first act of stupidity. But, we'll forget Sunday, move on past it, no looking back.

During the past week, I don't think I've had a single absolutely perfectly on-track day. One day I seriously over-did it with ice cream; that evil was mitigated by a 15 minute walk with Matt and a half hour on the elliptical. Other days, Ive consumed a few more rice crackers and a little more ice cream than I should have; I haven't allowed this stupid eating to become the trigger for a high powered binge. On more than one occasion, I've held off giving in to an immediate temptation with the knowledge that I could more moderately satisfy it at a later time.
Delaying gratification then becomes an exercise in self discipline. This strengthens my ability to make sensible food decisions.


My numbers are going ever so slightly down - in a statistically unimportant way. I think I've returned to the attitude I had when I lost the 65+ pounds: The numbers don't matter; the behavior does. Ever so gradually I am learning how to relate to food. When I lost the 65+, I knew that I would be successful. I had almost no problems remaining completely on track for well over a year. But - I didn't maintain the loss. I think I'm learning how to get rid of this weight in a way that I'll be able to keep it off. I don't have the certainty of success that I had from late October 2001 through mid-April 2003, but it doesn't matter what gems and garbage are currently screening in my mind. All that I have to do is be conscious of what I'm doing and embrace health and healthful decisions. As long as my behavior is health promoting, the fat will become energy and the lbs. will run away in fear. I'm gonna pound those fat bastards into the ground and then I'm gonna set the ground on fire. Burn away the pounds of fat ounce by ounce. Yeah!

Finally, I've started a another blog. I'd be pleased if you check it out.

7-07-07 and The Trap of Auspicious Days

From the beginning of this year and before it, I knew that 7/07/07 would be a highly auspicious day. I consider my fascination with such numbers as a bit of silliness, yet they have long seduced me with the promise of future success. Yesterday a front page article in my local paper described the special magic of this particular day as a centennial event, qualitatively different from 5/05/05 or 8/08/08 for example. According to the paper, three times as many weddings have been scheduled for today than were scheduled during this time period last year. Gamblers are also heartened by the trio of lucky number sevens .

So, as a fan of symmetrical numbers, how else could I respond to this upcoming date than with happy resolutions that, from this day forward, I would be highly disciplined with regard to food and exercise? A corollary to that intention would have to be that 7/06/07 would be The Last Day Ever of a mega-mighty binge. But a funny thing happened on the way to Bingeland. I seem to have regained my sanity with regard to food.

It started with the realization that I was not in an emotional state to restrain my eating by limiting the daily number of points I'd allow myself. Instead, I would try to stay conscious, embrace health, and choose happiness. I haven't been successful at doing this in the past without following a "program'" At this point, however, this feels very right to me.

The anticipation of auspicious days has been the main way that I've sabotaged myself in the last
several weeks. After almost a week of food sanity, I allowed myself indulgences that led to a binge on June 30 because July 1 seemed like such a wonderful date for a Really New Beginning. My July 1 morning weigh-in let me know that this was not a particularly wise decision. Unwilling to return to food sanity, I played with a limited binge, a bingelet, as the day progressed.

One of the things about not counting points is that I can eat as much watermelon as I want; I can have a moderate serving of mint ice cream; Nothing is really off limits to me. By July 2, I was back on track. So yesterday, as I contemplated large bowls of mint ice cream, I remembered this. I recognized that a binge or bingelet would be a way to sabotage my ability to relate sanely to food. I gave in to a few non-sensible food urges, but was able to limit this. I didn't have the peppermint ice cream (which I now store in the downstairs refrigerator). I didn't sabotage this highly auspicious day, 7-07-07, in anticipation of it very auspiciousness.

I am now ten pounds more than I was when I began this blog in late September 2005. I'm optimistic about my ability to sustain my current attitude.

Happy 4th (and 5th, 6th, 7th and beyond)

This is not a post, though I do plan to write one tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. I've been thinking along these lines for a number of days, so I thought I'd just write something brief before too much more time goes by. At some point soon I'll write more, check the blogs of my on-line friends, and comment on the comments to my previous posts. For now, to all of you who comment and read this blog a huge thank you. Your comments and caring means a great deal to me.

Matt's health issues continue to challenge both of us, but we're hanging in there. I seem to have gotten into a more healthful relationship with food since my last post. I'll be writing more about this in a subsequent post. Matt has been taking 10-15 minute walks using his walker. This is a therapeutic measure which is also helping me since I accompany him. Also, I've discovered gardening. I've had some nice surprises from people who have been on the periphery of my life. I've read a couple of good books and have started another one from a favorite author of mine. The sun has been smiling where I live. I've put up the hammocks and allowed myself to enjoy the paradise pleasure of laying suspended between a couple of trees, book in hand, gazing through the canopy of leaves, mostly ignoring the book, occasionally nodding off. Writing this I smile and life seems good - which it is except for the major way in which it currently sucks.

So . . . In 38 minutes it will be the 4th. I wish you all a happy one, whether you are celebrating Independence Day or not. No matter which side of "the pond" you're one, it's probably good to be independent of something or another.