I Think That I'm Back
Some day, but not now, I may write about the loss that I eluded to in my last post. As to Matt, his condition continues to challenge both of us. He is constantly dealing with pain of various sorts.
Despite this, I am beginning to have a sense that my personal Spring is just around the corner. I have gained a massive amount of weight. This morning's readout was 204.5 lbs., the highest I've ever been. Last night I dreamed that I was getting ready to return to a healthful eating program. In this dream, I was making diet chocolate pudding and didn't have enough milk for the recipe. I realized that I could use some of Matt's chocolate and regular fat level milk. I had a few bites from a sheet of chocolate brownies. I thought about the smaller waistline that I would have in a few months. I was ready to embark on a weight loss program and people noticing my weight loss was just a matter of time.
I've had a number of dreams in the past few weeks that suggest that I'm once again ready to succeed with this lifelong challenge. It was such a dream that heralded that long ago success when I went from 192 lbs. on 10-22-01 to 127 lbs. in April of 2003. I KNEW from the beginning that I would be successful then. Getting rid of the weight was easy for me because of this mental certainty.
It is now a few minutes past 5 p.m. I've accomplished very little today. I am going to spend 15 minutes on the Elliptical now. I had planned this to be only a quick check-in to let my on-line friends know that I was still alive. Having written this all, I think that I am back.
Despite this, I am beginning to have a sense that my personal Spring is just around the corner. I have gained a massive amount of weight. This morning's readout was 204.5 lbs., the highest I've ever been. Last night I dreamed that I was getting ready to return to a healthful eating program. In this dream, I was making diet chocolate pudding and didn't have enough milk for the recipe. I realized that I could use some of Matt's chocolate and regular fat level milk. I had a few bites from a sheet of chocolate brownies. I thought about the smaller waistline that I would have in a few months. I was ready to embark on a weight loss program and people noticing my weight loss was just a matter of time.
I've had a number of dreams in the past few weeks that suggest that I'm once again ready to succeed with this lifelong challenge. It was such a dream that heralded that long ago success when I went from 192 lbs. on 10-22-01 to 127 lbs. in April of 2003. I KNEW from the beginning that I would be successful then. Getting rid of the weight was easy for me because of this mental certainty.
It is now a few minutes past 5 p.m. I've accomplished very little today. I am going to spend 15 minutes on the Elliptical now. I had planned this to be only a quick check-in to let my on-line friends know that I was still alive. Having written this all, I think that I am back.
posted by ArleneWKW at 4:52 PM
7 Comments:
I'm glad you feel like you're back on track. Do be gentle with yourself about all this; you have a lot going on.
Its good to see you back writing a blog post.
So glad you are OK. I've been checking in every now and then.
Don't be hard on yourself. As long as you feel OK, that's the main thing. xx
Welcome back!!!!
Dreaming. I think Blondie did a nice song called Dreaming?
Hope you are getting better and feeling better.
Good luck!
Glad to hear you feel ready to starta gain. I'm sure you will be successful.
Sorry to hear that Matt is having trouble. I hope y'all get a reprieve soon.
Welcome back - some of us are still here :)
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